As you know if you’ve been following along, I have been pulled away from posting here by an unusually busy schedule.  I am now on the last leg (I hope) of this stressful season, and hope to get back to normal very soon.

I am currently with our youth group on our way to Red Mesa, Arizona, where we will be participating in a Group Workcamp.  This time, I’m not going just as a participant with our group, but as the music leader for the entire camp.  Having this responsibility causes me to be keenly aware of my spiritual dryness, and therefore of my great need for prayer.

I will be using this time away from my usual surroundings and tasks to focus on getting back to prayer, and I’m learning again that sometimes prayer is not easy, that there are times when it does not flow freely from the heart, but is a forced discipline.  I’m tired.  I’m worn out, both mentally and physically, and somewhat emotionally, and so prayer isn’t happening naturally for me right now.  I’m usually only praying because I know that I should

I’m convinced that this kind of prayer is just as God-honoring as the spontaneous prayers that come from a heart filled and enamored with God.   To believe otherwise is to imply that there are times when our broken and fallen hearts, and the prayers which flow from them, are closer to the infinite holiness of God than others.  Perfection is perfection – there aren’t degrees of perfection.  We are imperfect at all times.  On our very best day, all of our righteousness is as filthy rags compared to the perfect holiness of God.

I was thinking about the story of the Prodigal Son today, thinking about how the father ran to the son when he was still a long way off. Right now, I feel like I am a long way off.  My prayers are not the joyful run of a happy child into his Father’s arms.  They are more like the trudging, weary steps of a son who has been on a long journey away from home.  Certainly my time away was not for the same reasons, but my focus has been elsewhere.

Would you pray for me over the next ten days?  I am seeking to put my heart’s focus back on God, and not on my work.  As I lead 300 people in worship, I need to be filled with His Spirit.  Also, I am fighting off a cold, and a sore throat, which will be a major hindrance to my singing.  As I have access to the internet, I will add posts, but we will be in a remote location, so I don’t anticipate much.

And in advance, thank you for your prayers.

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